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Rants from a Jamaican British Woman

Friday, September 30, 2005

Womanist

Now wisecracks aside. I accept that this Labour Government has done some good things, even though I am stretching my imagination to think exactly what. I think in truth there are members of this government, albeit, not Tony who gives a flying monkey about ordinary people. Unlike Thatcher and her entire cabinet who didn't give a flying monkey about anyone who wasn't a rich tory. If you were only aspiring, then that was your problem. And she did take the children's milk away.

I am trying to weigh things up here. Tony does seem to have taken most things away (from the poor) and that hairy Gordon does seem to love taxing us (the poor that is). I just did a quick calculation and worked out that I may have precisely 50p left to feed and clothes myself, after I have paid my huge council tax, my huge gas bill, my huge electricity bill, my huge water bill, my huge water bill, my huge car insurance, car tax, parking space fee for home and work, fill up my little astra which seems to have developed a a £30 plus habit, my m.o.t. I can no longer afford to service it, so when it fails that, I guess I will give it up and instantly save about £4000 a year which will go towards my huge house insurance bill, my huge contents insurance bill, even though the house is full of crap, my mortgage, my mortgage insurance, my telephone charges, that's just for the luxury of having a phone that I can't afford to use. My national insurance which only insure me to get MRSA. My television licence, so Tony can beam his radical changes straight into my home.

And when I die, he will tax me for dying.

ps. please write in with anything I have forgotten.

.: posted by womanist 12:56 PM


I woke up this morning to the news that there are now 14 or is it 40 million Americans blogging on a daily basis. I thought, hell that sounds dangerous, particularly if they all have the same command of English as their President, and even more scary the same world views. So I thought I better getting blogging for Britain. I got to thinking about how much the Americans could learn from us British, particularly about democracy. Now take our recent Labour Party Conference. Our glorious Prime Minister, The Right Honourable Tony Blair (God) for short reminded us ignorant citizens that he will continue to make all decisions on our behalf. He who knows all things gently reminded us that we the public are simply not intelligent enough to join him and his esteem ministers in the making of decisions that are likely to have far reaching impact on our lives. For example, a couple of days ago, it was almost a done deal that Gordon, the one with the full head of hair was about to become our esteem leader. In this case his Ministerial friends seems to have made that decision. Apparently, you don't even have to vote them in anymore. Fortunately for us, Cherrie of the magnificent smile came to (God's) rescue and declare that there is not question Royal Blairs could ever cut and run. He is there for the long haul. The next day the papers printed technicolour pictures of Gordon, his nose seriously bent a little to the left or perhaps it was to the right. I am a citizen, so don't quite recall.

Our glorious Prime Minister (God) for short told us that we ain't seen nothing yet. Apparently he has not gone far enough in his reforms and would thus like another 4 years to ensure that by the time he steps down, the very air that we breath as we step outside our overpriced front doors will indeed be privitised. Mr Blair reminded us amongst other things of his other great successes. Iraq is up there at the top. I think between yesterday 29th September and today 30th September 2005, roughly about 150 Iraqi's were blown to smethereens. But hell, they are only Iraqi's, and as long as we British and other coalition forces remain there, there is no doubt in our Prime Minister mind, that we will win the peace.

Now if you Americans really want to see democracy in action, the thing to do is request a debate, say for example about the quiet arming of the British police, since the rather nasty incidents of 7th July. Or of course you could pretend you are an 82-years-old, who have fought the Nazi's in the 2nd World War and don't want to see the development of an autocratic Labour Government in Britain. You could then dare to shout "nonsense" at a British Foreign Secretary, as he reminded us why we were right to invade Iraq. Now if you are brave or foolish enough to do this, then our democratically elected politicians willl ensure that you are forcely ejected from the conference area by a number of very burly men who are at least a quarter your age. Being a democracy, the following day, a very overweight and extremely unattractive man who is the chair of the conference or something will apologise to you the 82-year-old protester, and you will of course be welcomed back to the conference with a standing ovation, from all those men and women who are paid a hefty some each month to salute Mr Blairs particular take on democracy.

We the people, just love it, and of course whilst there are enough of us with nice homes, second or third homes, a four wheel drive, and a few smaller vehicles for our children to drive themselves to school in, something in the bank for a rainy day, a little pad with a swimming pool abroad, a couple of flats in Bristol to help the kids out later on. Well, we have democracy! And for christsake, you bloody first buyers, who can't get on our precious housing ladder, or who live on horrible, violent council estates, or who don't have jobs, or who can't make ends meet, can't afford private health care, expensive private schools, fees for university, organic food, holidays abroad. Stop bloody moaning! If you don't like the fact that Tony is only running the country to suit Mr Murdoch, other rich people and nice middleclass people (allegedly) then my advice to you is ............ leave. Go to Africa or something and then we can get Sir Bob to send you some aid.

Sorry.... You're too poor to leave, aren't you? Anyway, I am too poor to be sued, so Tony will have to lock me up in the Tower and have my head sawn off. Hell, he might an all!

.: posted by womanist 11:17 AM