Womanist

Rants from a Jamaican British Woman

Thursday, February 20, 2003

Dear Blogger People,

What has happened to my Blogger site. Can't get into it. Have I said something controversial? Please, please give me back my site. I haven't got a life otherwise.

Yvonne

.: posted by womanist 11:58 PM

Hi World,

It's my birthday today. I am a woman, so I am not going tell you my exact age. I am 40 something and that's all you need to know. Frankly, I am cool about it, but I am fedup that over the past 2 years, my body has steadfastly refused to loose the weight it inadvertently put on by having too much of the good life. In my head I am still a slinky size 12, but when I tried to buy myself something nice today, I found that I am now positively busting out of size 14's. Dam it, just as I have really begun to enjoy my life, it seems intent on giving on me? Life can be a bastard!

I shall now sing myself happy birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST YVONNE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

HIP HIP HOORAY!

.: posted by womanist 2:01 PM

Dear Ken,

I was surveying London today from a posh office near you. What on earth have you done with all the drivers? I could practically count the numbers of cars around Millbank and Vauxhall on one hand. Ken you will be please to know that I took the bus. It was nice. It zipped around London like nobody's business. I ain't giving up my car though. These days I just use it to get to Ikea in Brent Park. I actually find that the motor car is a great stress reliever. On my way to Ikea on Saturdays, I am able to open the windows of my car and scream expletives at most other drivers who always manage to annoy me in one way or another. It also stops me from going into Ikea, searching for the man who built it (yes I am sure it's a man) and personally strangling him, not though before he pays me for all the bloody furniture I have had to make. Most of which has still got a screw missing here, a bolt there, the wrong size door, only three legs...I could go on. My worse purchase to date has been those darn pillow cases which were clearly designed for the Bushmen of the Kalahari.

Sorry Ken, where was I? The Congestion charges. I love those great big red and white C's. At last we have something to attract the tourists. I tell you Ken, many people will be thanking you for the heart attacks they are now not going to have. ps. see if you can persuade Mr Prescott to get out of those two big Jags. Get him on a bus or a bike or something. He needs the exercise.

.: posted by womanist 1:40 PM

My spelling, my grammar. I will sort it out when I am a little less knackered David, and anyone else out there who is thinking what the blogging hell is she going on about. Look I am tired. I spent the day at a nice Government building today. No not a prison. A posh building where they served very nice nosh to boot. I should really have come away with a doggy bag, because there is bugger all food in the house. But you know, it's still not British to leave places with doggy bags, which is a shame because, leaving with doggy bags could prove instrumental in helping Government workers in posh buildings to keep their weight down. God knows how much of that food they take home in their swanky brief cases.

.: posted by womanist 1:22 PM

Hi David,

I was reading one of your blogs just now. I want to tell you that jealousy will get you nowhere. Stop being so critical of people who have got themselves knighthoods. You too can earn one, it's easy. Here are few simple steps to getting your Knighthood.

Step 1. Become a Tory
Step 2. Get to the front benches
Step 3. Commit an enormous fraud, and then lie furiously about your involvement. Encourage as many members of your family as possible to lie on your behalf.
Step 4. Sleep with as many prostitutes as you can, male or female, it doesn't matter.
Step 5. Before sleeping with the prostitutes, make sure you have a very loyal little wifey at home who will stand by you, even after she has discovered those G-strings in your trouser pocket.
Step 6. Have an affair with a decent upstanding Tory lady. Make sure she gets pregnant, then absolutely refuse to have anything to do with the said lady or expected offspring.

Now here are the easy bits. The papers get to hear about your little naughties. Other Tory Ministers are furious. You are ousted for a minimum of one year from the party. And then BINGO! YOU ARE BROUGHT BACK FROM THE COLD AND GIVEN A
****KNIGHTHOOD**** Trust me the above formula works to a tee. Oh yes, and don't forget to rub everyone's nose in it, after you have got your KNIGHTHOOD of course, by writing a crappy book about your experience. (how do you spell crapy - crappy? You know they shouldn't let people like me who clearly cannot spell to save her life on the internet.

.: posted by womanist 12:59 PM

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

I was on my way home from work today, and as I looked around the bus and out into the streets. I wondered, what does a terrorist look like?. There was a confusion of languages on the bus, something I imagine like the Tower of Babel. Everytime a couple got on they spoke in a language unrecognisable to me. It seems to me that if the powers that be truly believe we have a country full of terrorist running around loose making all kinds of plans to blow us all to bits. They would do well to use the resources we have here to try and find these people, never mind rushing around the world, playing god almighty.

I think I have made the point now that I don't like the idea of this proposed war one little bit. I will try to move on and blog about some other lesser annoyances. I said I would try.......Have I spelt terrorist correctly? I have been getting complaints about my spelling. Sorry don't know how to use the spell check on the internet.

.: posted by womanist 12:07 PM

I simply say this, you wingeing voters. War in Iraq is not inevitable. Only inasmuch as the fact that even I will die one day.

.: posted by womanist 11:31 AM

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

I have been doing some reflecting. Alright that might be overstating a point. I have spent precisely 10 seconds thinking about my last blog and wondered whether I have been a little unfair to our Prime Minister. Truth be told, I don't want to be a miserable blogger. I don't want to be a cynic. I desperately want to trust this Labour goverrnment. Instead I find myself feeling like a wronged woman, like a woman whose husband has ran off with some flashy bird brain woman or even a bird brain man. Does anyone else out there feel horribly let down by Tony, or is just me?

Do you know, I remembered screaming so loud that night when it became crystal clear that Labour had won the election with a landslide victory. I don't know if I can use this word on the net, but I will take a chance... The news was o*******. Hope I have spelt that correctly. It's not easy to spell in stars. After 18 years of living under a government that felt to me as though it did'nt give a chicken's neck about ordinary working folks, it was so good to have the promise of change. Little did I know that I with my lowly one vote had helped to elect a Government that were soon to produce the kinds of policies that make the Tories frankly look sometimes like wishy washy liberals. Why are the Tories not making a comeback? they want to, but there is nothing to fight against, nothing to argue with. Government and Opposition agree on every darn thing... The only reason I can see now that William Hague isn't in power, is that he was not considered to be as good looking as Blair. He was though rather less arrogant...Mr Blair obviously won the election because he has good, if a little crooked teeth...

.: posted by womanist 1:56 PM

Was I the only person who felt a trifle bemused, looking at that little placard in front of Mr Blair at the recent Labour Party conference? The one that said something like, More teachers, More Nurses, More Policemen. It looked like an after thought by one of labour's more minor spin doctors? A let's show them that we still have some minor interest in domestic affairs. Oh, sorry Firemen! we got too many of you...Oh alright then, maybe we need a couple more, but only if its my house that's burning down. Still I am the Prime Minister, and I simply say this... If my house was on fire, I could always locate a couple of soldiers who are not out looking for excess diesel, sorry I mean dealing with Axis's of Evil. The pair of them could roll up in a Green Goddess or even a Green Tank and put my fire out. And I simply also say this to you, my stubborn, confrontational people who voted me into power, and who dare to assert that millions of you might be right, and I might wrong. Our British soldiers do not mind earning crap wages. Their honour will come in dying for my beliefs'. Thank you for listening, must dash, I've got a country to destroy.

p.s. don't give a toss about being voted in for a third time, better to remembered for bombing a country than just to be remembered for once having a nice smile.

.: posted by womanist 1:21 PM

Sunday, February 16, 2003

Oh yes, using Black people to promote the war against Iraq is a very clever tactic. Maybe the terroists will now turn there attention to bombing the hell out of already poor and desparate black countries.

Go on Mr Powell and Mrs Rice, sell your souls for a rotten pot of gold.

.: posted by womanist 10:24 AM

Yesterday's marches around the world should hopefully send a powerful message to Blair and Bush. Sadly even as I write this, I doubt that they will take any notice at all. It strikes me that these two men are arrogant beyond belief. The 10 million or so people who marched yesterday are probably a tiny minority of peoples around the world who believe the war against Iraq should not happen. But these grey men in their grey suits are determined that they are right and the rest of the world is wrong. Iraq's fate it seemed was sealed from the day Bush the elder retired. Mr Blair dare's to tell marchers that if the bombing of Iraq does not happen now, we the marchers will have the blood of Iraq's people's on our hands. What a self-righteous load of nonsense..

Both governments histories are checkered with enough death and destruction to populate countries the size of Europe and America.
There is quite simply no moral highground for either Britain or America. Both countries have had their grimmy little fingers right in the middle of every horrible situation in just about every corner of this earth. The picture of the little vietnamese girl running down the road with her burnt skin hanging off her body after the American dropped their nuclear weapons on her country wil haunt every decent human being for the rest of their lives.

God help us when a man like Mr Bush is encouraged to be the leader of our world. This man has never heard of Iraq until he became President. He hardly knew how many states were in his own country. He calls himself a Christian, but he shows himself to be full of hatred and with carrying around with him a revengeful heart.

Like everyone else I believe Setember 11 was amongst one of the most pre-meditated and deliberately horrible acts of this 21st century. One of my own nieces worked in Trade Tower 2 and it was only a fluke that she was not there on that desperate and fateful day. Nearly everyone I know have a story to telll about that terrible day. I condemn who ever carried out that horrible attrocity and of course all the similar attrocities committed all over the world, since, the Black countries that hardly ever get a mention. But whilst I sincerely believe that governments have a duty to seek out and bring to justice those who would deliberately execute such horror, I cannot believe that just picking on a country and bombing it is either the right or christian thing to do. Using the Iraqi people as justification for attacking their country is in my mind a smokescreen. Surely even if Mr Hussein represents the threat that we are told he does, he will not attack his people whilst the UN Inspectors are in Iraq. And if the UK and America have intelligence as they say they do that tells them exactly where these weapons are, why not give the Inspectors the means to destroy them and then send in peace-keepers? Why not hunt Mr Hussein down and arrest him and put him on trial for crimes against humanity?

It occurs to me that the 15th of February present the perfect targets all over the world for these so-described terroist groups who we are told are indescriminate in their desire to kill and main. It seems to be that yesterday was the time to bomb, poison, shoot and use any other tactic available to them to prove the politicians right. I mean no police or army could have stopped anyone yesterday who wanted to commit serious harm? I rest my case. Oy yes, I do believe that no one is undermining the the UN more than the US at the present time. No there is no moral case for going to war.

.: posted by womanist 10:10 AM

Dear Mr Blair,

YES MR BLAIR, THE BACKLASH HAS BEGUN..........

Maybe you need to now stop the rhetoric and start to take note of what is happening in our country. I cannot help but feel that your behaviour over the past few months have done little to enable racial tolerance and everything to bring the racists out. Last night my friends and I were racially verbally abused and threatened with physical violence. We literally had to run for our lives. Our crime? To stop off in a pub (The Richmond Arms, in Orchardson Street, off the Edgeware Road, NW8. We were returning from the very peaceful march against the proposed war in Iraq. We were cold, tired, hungry and thirsty. All we wanted was somewhere to sit down, have a drink and something to eat. The moment we entered the Richmond Arms, two young white men began hurling racial insults at us. The barmaid looked on, encouraging them by rolling her eyes and smiling. At no point did she or anyone else in the pub came to our assistance. Of the five of us who entered the pub, two of us are Black, two Irish born, and one of Scottish/Irish origin. We were told amongst other things to **** off back to where we came from, accused of stealing, jobs, houses, living on Social Security etc. We were called 'Niggers' and filthy 'Irish'.

These are our credentials; Teacher, Accountant, writer/social worker, social worker, psychotherapist/social worker. All of us own our own homes. Of the eleven children we have between us. 6 are full-time students, one is a world renowned novelist, one has a major recording deal, one is a soldier, another is a muscian and teacher, one is an assitant publican. We are all people who contribute much to our society.

I have been a good citizen of this country for 35 years. I have worked since I was age 17-years-old. I have 2 degrees and three adult children. Neither I or them have ever claimed one penny in social security. My children are all upstanding members of this British Community. I have never had to go into a school or walk into a police station because my children did something wrong.

So what is my crime, the reader asked? Why was I and my friends attacked in this way? Apparently because two of us are Black and the other two Irish. Having been on the magnificent march with a purported 2 million people, I guess we were all lulled into a false sense of security. For anyone out there who care to listen; the experience of being racially abused is frightening and intimidating. I happen to be a National Health Worker in the area where we were attacked. I have clients living next door to that pub and I have to say that I am now feeling petrified at the thought of having to walk past the pub for fear of bumping into these men.

It is time you the politicians stop and think about how your careless words are simply aiding and abetting small minded racists to attack their neighbours. Your endless talk about economic migrants and bogus Asylum Seekers. What are the British abroad, but economic migrants? Remember this! most of us are here because you were there. As a nation you have reaped economic benefits by exploiting countries across the globe. You have not in any real sense stopped that exploitation. In Africa, the Caribbean, the Asian Sub-continent and many other parts of the world, it is European and American policies that are continually adding to the difficulties people are experiencing in subsisting in their own countries. It is the insatiable need of Western countries to accumulate and own things that is integral to the poverty that so-called developing countries continue to experience on an everyday basis. I and my friends have a right to be here in England. We have a right to walk into any pub, club, or other public venue without fear of being racially abused, verbally or phsycially.

This government, like the Tories before them are complicit in encouraging racism and xenophobia. If it were possible for every immigrant, including the Irish and the Jews and everyone who came after them to leave this country. This country would find itself up a creek without a paddle. Who the hell would teach in your schools, run your hospitals, your transport system, public and private, run restaurants, shops, clean the streets, be social workers, etc.etc. etc. not those two dumb ass dinosaurs we ran into in the pub. Chances are neither of them can even read or write. Chances are their own names are only recognised to them as a large 'X'. Chances are, it is my wages and my friend taxes that is paying their social security bills.

This country Mr Blair needs its Asylum Seekers, and Gods knows it needs it economic migrants, so stop inciting racists to make our lives hell. You are the one who is loosing yourself the next election, so stop creating mischiefs as way of ingratiating yourself to some of this countries more illiterate public. Yes, you have lost my vote as well.......